SF Tips: How to prepare for living in San Francisco

In the 6 years that I have spent living in San Francisco, I've learned quite a few things about surviving here.  It's funny, you wouldn't think it would be that difficult to live here, but don't let yourself be surprised.

1. Parking signs.  They never bluff and they do mean business.  Does that sign right next to your car tell you that you can't park there every other Saturday evening from 4pm to 3:45am and Wednesday from 2am to 8am?  BELIEVE IT.  They don't care that you just wanted to park there for an hour, or just 15 minutes to run to the corner store.  They will tow your car before the ink on your receipt paper is dry.  Pay close attention to 1 or 2 hour limits - they can and will ticket you every hour on the hour (I've received three separate tickets in the same spot).

And it 'ain't gonna look like this, honey.

2. Apartments.  Read the fine print with extreme care.  The ad doesn't say anything about a kitchen?  IT DOESN'T HAVE ONE.  "Vintage" anywhere in the post?  NOTHING HAS BEEN REPLACED SINCE THE EARTHQUAKE OF 1906.  Unless you are living in a building built after 1980 - the walls, ceilings, and windows are paper thin.  You will be able to hear your neighbors breathe and there is zero insulation.  Invest in a space heater, blankets, and noise canceling headphones.

Oh yeah, you can't do this either.  This is considered sidewalk!

3. Driveways are serious business.  People can and will get you ticketed/towed if your car is just an inch past the dip in the sidewalk.  Flout this, and suffer the punishment. 

4. Homeless with dogs.  Life hasn't been that great to them, that may be true.  But I barely have enough to get by, let alone help anyone else out.  BUT THE DOG.  The dog shouldn't have to suffer because some person who lives on the street wanted a buddy along the way.  My policy - give them some dog kibble.  More than likely it will be very hard for them to trade the kibble for drugs or alcohol, and most of them do have love for their pets.

People make more than I do on the streets of SF.

5. Questionable folks wanting to chat you up/anyone holding a sign on a corner.  Walk on by, nothing to do here.  Seriously, it's a scam.

6. Parking tickets.  Didn't take my advice above?  Take a very close look at the due date of the ticket and PAY IT.  They triple in amount before you know it, and they will troll for your car in your neighborhood (do you always get tickets in the same area?  THEY KNOW.)  I once was booted then towed for having 5 outstanding tickets when I wasn't violating any laws or rules at the time.  I had to pay the tow fee, the "boot rental" fee, the storage fee (I was out for a three day weekend, they booted on Thursday night, towed on Friday), and also the entire balance of the outstanding tickets I had.  Do you want to know how much I paid? NO YOU DON'T.

7.  Public transit will become your best friend.  Trust me, your car is a liability.  Traffic is awful, parking is a nightmare.  Muni may stink, Bart may be filled with bacteria and other disgusting material that has seeped into the cloth seats, you may have to sit next to someone who hasn't showered for years, or just a really fat person that takes up more than their fair share of space.  You will encounter rude, loud, annoying, horrible people.  But all in all, it's a pretty boss way to get around the city.  My tip - always wear headphones.  Everything is better with a personal soundtrack!

I have to add... this man and what he does absolutely ENRAGES me.  He sits on the sidewalk near Pier 39, holds up some branches to hide behind, and jumps out to scare people.  AND THEY GIVE HIM MONEY.  WTF?!

With that I say Good Day and Good Luck!